Hello humans!

Happy holidays to all residents of Kuwait, I hope this vacation was good for your mind, body and soul.

For those of you who struggle during the holidays for any reason what so ever, my heart is with you. Please know you are normal. Whether it is due to past traumas or because you live in a toxic environment and holidays mean you are stuck with your family, all emotions are valid, all reasons for struggling are valid. I love you. You are strong. 

If you struggled during this holiday, I would love to hear from you, maybe I can help you with coping mechanisms or we could try to figure out ways together to make the next ones more joyful for your soul. You can write to me on cwo@stayconscious.me I am here for you, how can I help?

For now, here is a snippet from my vacation that inspired me to write about the important of boundaries between us and the ones we love, specially our family members.

NASTY SOCIALIST laying down in bed watching a TV show 

DAUGHTER: “ Sorry to disturb, but you’re my mother so it’s kinda your job.”

NS: “Excuse me what?”

D: “I just heard myself. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it, it wasn’t nice.”

How many times have you found yourself in a situation like that?

Now keep in mind, I have taught, communicated and practiced healthy boundaries with my 10 year old daughter, that is why she realized her mistake immediately, and yet these situations still happen between us.

Whether you live in a toxic or safe home, personal boundaries are a vital element for self care. If we don’t practice healthy strong boundaries with the humans we engage with, we might feel taken for granted or intruded upon, and our energies would be depleted. That could lead to a build up of different emotions like anger, hurt, resentment or burnout.

The definition of boundaries means anything that marks a border. 

Personal boundaries are guideline, rules or limits that we create to identify fair, safe and healthy ways for other humans to behave towards us. Clearly identifying our personal boundaries helps us respond when a human crosses the allowed limits.

During holidays, with an increase of happy chemicals around, these boundaries might fade or weaken, you always need a strategy.

• It all begins with knowing your triggers. We can’t make our life better without first knowing what is making it not too cool.

• Know your worth. Value yourself and your time, and give yourself permission to do what’s best for you. If you’re not happy, you can’t make anyone happy. 

• Be clear about your needs and practice communicating them. Don’t expect others to read your mind, and don’t blame them for doing something they didn’t know was wrong.

• Learn to say NO. Remind yourself that the ones who love you unconditionally want to see you happy, even if it means saying no to them. Trust me it’s true. If anyone ever gets upset when you lovingly say no, is a narcissist. It’s their fault not yours.

• Remind yourself of your coping mechanisms. If you master all of the above, mistakes still could happen. Be quick to forgive, give yourself love and care and move on. It takes time for relationships to grow into new dynamics.

In the end always remember, life is beautiful with all the different humans in it. We all operate differently, it is our job to teach the ones we love how we want to be loved.

I wish you all many beautiful days with your loved ones in a healthy loving environment with clear personal boundaries.

NASTY SOCIALIST